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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429517" title="2010.08.04 12:49">

  <p>话说我一高中同学，特慷慨激昂，特仇恨日本人。<br/>
<br/>
有一次大家讨论着动漫，他说：<br/>
<br/>
“我最喜欢看柯南了，<br/>
<br/>
&nbsp;因为每一集都要死一个日本人。”<br/>
<br/>
.................<div class='watermark'>(来自qiushibaike.com)</div></p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E5%90%90%E6%A7%BD" rel="tag">吐槽</a></p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429538" title="2010.08.04 21:03">

  <p>我性别女，有一个比我大5岁的亲哥，在老哥的熏陶下，我也喜欢游泳，从小学起，每年暑假一大早就跟着老哥一起去游泳&nbsp;。以上背景。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。.<br/>
初中了，那时侯我还是干瘪绿豆芽一根，因为天热，所以把头发都剃短了。&nbsp;暑假的一天大早，我照例跟着老哥去游泳。在更衣室门口，我和老哥分道而行。&nbsp;但是可能因为身材和头型的关系，女更衣室门口的大妈居然把我叫住，让我去男更衣室！而我，大概因为是刚起床，还处于迷糊状态，被大妈这么气势十足的一指挥，我居然就真的往男更衣室走了。&nbsp;一直看见众多白花花的屁股和O|O,我才明白过来，开始hll地凌乱。要说那时候我再走出去也就算了。&nbsp;但是脑残的我为了不让别人发现我走错男更衣室，居然就假装坦然地找了个空的更衣箱，开始脱衣服！为了节省换衣的时间，我和老哥都是在家换好泳衣和泳裤才出门的。这也避免了我的暴光。但是我没想过，女生穿的可是泳衣啊！当我那身蓝色美丽花朵的泳衣出现后，以我为中心，整个男更衣室开始骚动。所有光PP的男人都很纠结地捂着下身看着我。一直到我老哥发现，把我楸了出去.......<strong class='watermark'>(来自qiushibaike.com)</strong></p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1">大妈让我去的男更衣室</p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429609" title="2010.08.04 21:49">

  <p>有一日我和我老妈去寺院上香,见一僧人过来,我老妈上前,曰:&quot;道长......&quot;我扯扯老妈的衣角,小声说:&quot;这是寺庙.&quot;老妈顿悟:&quot;师太......&quot;<div class='watermark'>(来自qiushibaike.com)</div></p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E5%AF%BA%E9%99%A2" rel="tag">寺院</a> <a href="/groups/2/tag/%E5%83%A7%E4%BA%BA" rel="tag">僧人</a> <a href="/groups/2/tag/%E9%81%93%E9%95%BF" rel="tag">道长</a></p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article430044" title="2010.08.05 02:27">

  <p>最近买了一瓶维生素C吃，药片做的非常大，每次吃的时候都会卡到嗓子里，喝很多水才能顺下去。今天不想再被卡了，就把药片掰成两半吃。<strong class='watermark'>(糗事百科出品，转载请注明)</strong><br/>
<br/>
于是被卡了两次。</p>
  
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429736" title="2010.08.04 23:00">

  <p>CNT……求过……求祝福早日结婚……<br/>
<br/>
本人一枚肥男，长相不出众，很普通的一种～～～于是GF认识不久对我说我长得像她表弟～～之后丈母娘说我长得像她学生某某～～～<br/>
<br/>
好吧，哥是大众脸～～～<br/>
<br/>
不久后GF要和房东谈判，拉哥去撑场子，房东阿婆谈着谈着突然问我是不是以前见过，当时那个心凉呀～～～<br/>
<br/>
哥的确是大众脸～～～<br/>
<br/>
但这不是GC～～～<br/>
<br/>
前天爹亲看着家里的金鱼突然说：“儿子这鱼长得像你”<br/>
<span class='watermark'>(来自qiushibaike.com)</span><br/>
长得像你……<br/>
<br/>
像你……<br/>
<br/>
你……</p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BC%97%E8%84%B8" rel="tag">大众脸</a> 已经大众到动物界了 植物界还远吗？</p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429635" title="2010.08.04 22:09">

  <p>高中刚毕业&nbsp;回忆一下吧&nbsp;高中时隔壁班有个叫赵飞的&nbsp;活得很开&nbsp;大家尊他为飞哥<div class='watermark'>(糗事百科出品，转载请注明)</div><br/>
飞哥是个住宿生&nbsp;家住北京&nbsp;在廊坊上学&nbsp;有一次飞哥由于过于逍遥&nbsp;把钱都花光了&nbsp;回家得坐车啊&nbsp;飞哥是分文没有了&nbsp;大家说借他点&nbsp;飞哥潇洒地一摆手&nbsp;在我们的惊骇的目光中坐上了一辆出租车&nbsp;他是真没钱了&nbsp;前几天都吃的泡面&nbsp;所以我们都愣住了&nbsp;眼看车渐渐开远....<br/>
飞哥一路镇定自若&nbsp;还跟司机侃了一路&nbsp;到了北京以后飞哥指挥司机东拐西拐进了一条小巷&nbsp;然后拉车门走出来对司机说：你知道我是谁吗&nbsp;司机说我哪知道&nbsp;飞哥撒腿就跑&nbsp;一边跑一边说&nbsp;我是蝙蝠侠&nbsp;我是蝙蝠侠&nbsp;我是蝙蝠侠<br/>
后来司机一直找到学校&nbsp;这件事才让我们知道&nbsp;<br/>
飞哥就是飞哥</p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E8%9D%99%E8%9D%A0%E4%BE%A0%E9%A3%9E%E5%93%A5/page/1" rel="tag">蝙蝠侠飞哥</a></p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429493" title="2010.08.04 20:37">

  <p>第一次爪机发，希望能过<br/>
昨天心血来潮想治螨虫，于是短信问一学药的同学用什么药好，答曰：盐酸西地那非。聊了好久，临了嘱托不要忘了吃药，我大为感动，这畜生终于知道关心人了。<br/>
临走的时候突然想到，没听说治螨虫还要吃药的，于是百度下，盐酸西地那非：又名&quot;伟哥&quot;<strong class='watermark'>(糗事百科出品，转载请注明)</strong><br/>
草。这小子还是想阴我…</p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1">盐酸西地那非</p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429690" title="2010.08.04 22:39">

  <p>某网站上的&nbsp;“求求你给这两个萝卜添加表情”活动。。。<b class='watermark'>(来自qiushibaike.com)</b><br/>
<br/>
结果是。。。<br/>
<br/>
还我眼睛！</p>
  
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  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E5%93%A6%E5%90%A7" rel="tag">哦吧</a>！</p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429638" title="2010.08.04 22:11">

  <p>今天哥杯具了，希望下份工作早点找到！！！<br/>
RP分割线+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;今天公司一同事辞职，哥当时在楼道抽烟，准备开会的时候，见他收拾东西走，过去难免寒暄几句。安慰那哥们说：在这没啥意思，去找个比这更好的。年轻么。。。。。。<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;那哥们看我一眼说，单位要裁人了，我知道有我，所以自己辞职免得到时候难堪。<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;我还不知道这事，就追问，那哥们看了我一眼说，就俩名额，我一个。<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;我心想还有一个是谁啊？就问他。<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;那哥们很淡定说，你！<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;哥们居然失业了，自己都不知道，这还不糗吗？<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;匿了，明天睡个好觉，然后开始找工作。。。<span class='watermark'>(来自qiushibaike.com)</span></p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E8%BE%9E%E8%81%8C" rel="tag">辞职</a>  <a href="/groups/2/tag/%E8%A3%81%E4%BA%BA" rel="tag">裁人</a>  <a href="/groups/2/tag/%E8%A2%AB%E5%A4%B1%E4%B8%9A" rel="tag">被失业</a></p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429612" title="2010.08.04 21:51">

  <p>有马骑了之后人就变懒了。。。<b class='watermark'>(from www.qiushibaike.com)</b><br/>
还是发一个吧~~~<br/>
~~~~~~~~~~我是游泳池分割线~~~~~~~~~<br/>
先说、本人女、最近为了避免暑假吃得多睡得多长胖、毅然决定去游泳以保持身材。。。<br/>
今天晚上的早些时候、我又下水扑腾了一阵<br/>
觉得累了就坐在岸边休息、一看、旁边有一副游泳镜<br/>
不过好像是坏的<br/>
但是再仔细一看也就是眼镜周围的一圈橡胶脱落了而已、于是我无聊的慢慢把它修复了~<br/>
感叹了一下自己真厉害之后我就又下水了、手里拿着那游泳镜、准备游到对岸上交管理员~<br/>
刚游了一下就被一WS男拦住了、他说：同学、你这游泳镜跟我刚才放在岸边那个是一个牌子哦、而且款式都一样~好巧哦~<br/>
我：—&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;—&nbsp;&nbsp;！默默的把泳镜递给了WS男<br/>
该男愣了一下、说：不不不、我怎么能要你的泳镜呢、我那个是坏的、刚才那个橡胶掉了、我放那一会准备拿去换的。。。<br/>
我：这个是你的、我刚才无聊给你修好了。。。<br/>
该男一脸不敢相信的凝视手中的泳镜：KAO！这都能修、太强了吧。。。（我听得清清楚楚）<br/>
我淡定的转身游走。。。<br/>
5秒之后、身后传来一声悠长的、谢谢啊~同学~~~</p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E6%B8%B8%E6%B3%B3%E8%B6%A3%E4%BA%8B" rel="tag">游泳趣事</a></p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article430420" title="2010.08.05 11:06">

  <p>看了三个月糗百了……现在意识到了只看不发掉RP……CNT求过<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;背景：本人H片阅历广泛，都是从网上下载，只是爸妈从不知道，每次回家都会先净化电脑，我爸喜欢去数码城买H片，这我妈和我都知道，但我爸不知道我知道……<br/>
&nbsp;————————————————思想不纯洁的分割线————————————————<strong class='watermark'>(from www.qiushibaike.com)</strong><br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;大一暑假回家第一天，我妈就让我陪她去买个电视，可以挂墙上那种，下午买完回家，商家派了个人来帮我们装机，最后要试一下DVD，启动，画面跳出的一瞬间，在场的四个人（我、我爸、我妈、装机工）都寂静了，只剩下电视里OOXX的声音，我自然的把头转向我爸，看到他脸上露出了惊慌的神情，GC来了，我爸居然很淡定的说：“这是谁的？……”当时我就凌乱了：不是您的还是谁的啊。没想到我妈来了一句：：还不是你儿子的……”我当时就泪奔了，我回家第一天哪来的这H片啊，我一时语塞但又想辩解，大脑出现短路，指着电视里仍在OOXX的女优说：“这朝美惠香的片子我是不爱看的……”顿时，房间里更寂静了，我爸看着我说：“知识够丰富的……”随后我默默的离开了房间，独自凌乱去了……</p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1">贼喊捉贼的老爸 知识丰富的儿子</p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429696" title="2010.08.04 22:43">

  <p>总也没发了，既然要发，就不说废话！！！我和老公毕业两年了，上大学的时候，我俩都很苗条，一点多余的肉都没有。结果上班两年后，我俩双双出现烦人的小肚腩…靠！一看这形势发展下去也不行啊！然后一个月前，我俩又双双开展了减肥运动，一个月时间还是有效果的！这不～上周末在地铁上，人多，我俩找了一消停地儿站了，无意间我摸到了他的小肚子，脑残的来了一句：老公，你这里硬了～声儿不小，方圆十个人足以听清楚…瞬间喧闹的车厢安静了。（地缝在哪里？我要钻进去）<div class='watermark'>(from www.qiushibaike.com)</div></p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1">现在的人们真XE <a href="/groups/2/tag/%E5%8C%85%E6%8B%AC%E6%88%91" rel="tag">包括我</a></p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429492" title="2010.08.04 20:36">

  <p>常聚的高中同学里属W的工作最拉风——神父！其实他只是某景点普通员工。景点里有个教堂，经常有新人举办西式婚礼。专职神父半年前跳槽，领导命他批上大袍吊一牌子火速顶上。据说上岗半年W已是范儿十足，随身带圣经、晚饭前祷告。<br/>
<br/>
上周末大伙一起打球（室内的），3对3，分4组，那2组在一边休息。正打着，忽听：“快看W，快看W！”循声望去，老兄躺地板上睡着了，大伙跑去围观，其睡姿如果竖起来可谓众人皆知：平躺、头微侧、双手打开平展、右腿伸直、左腿略曲架于右腿上……<br/>
<div class='watermark'>(糗事百科出品，转载请注明)</div><br/>
<br/>
众人感叹：“MY&nbsp;GOD，到底是和稣哥走得近的人啊！”……大伙不由地在胸前划起了十字！</p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1">为不亵渎神灵，<a href="/groups/2/tag/%E4%B8%8D%E6%94%BE%E7%85%A7%E7%89%87" rel="tag">不放照片</a>！</p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article430859" title="2010.08.05 15:12">

  <p>不知哪个糗友还给我整出安检系列来了~也就是讲讲工作中小事博大家一笑！我每个评论都会看的哦~谢谢帮顶的朋友！娱人娱己~<br/>
<a href="/articles/343759.htm">糗事#343759</a><br/>
<a href="/articles/384849.htm">糗事#384849</a><br/>
<a href="/articles/402573.htm">糗事#402573</a><br/>
<a href="/articles/418404.htm">糗事#418404</a><br/>
<br/>
那这个就是水漫漫•安检系列之五啦！都看没看人在囧途？我就讲讲饮料方面的囧人糗事吧~&nbsp;<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
1.&nbsp;&nbsp;通道，年轻爸爸领着三岁的小男孩，民航现行规定饮料一律托运不能随身携带。那大哥很惋惜的说“青啤啊~特产！打算带回家给老婆尝尝的！…托运太麻烦…那我喝了得了。”于是乎，我们继续安检其他旅客，正忙呢，发现通过的旅客都在微笑，跟着目光回头，就见这年轻爸爸把小正太弄凳子上端端正正的坐着，父子俩你一口，我一口~确实很惬意的说~小正太眼巴巴的看着他爸，小嘴还嘟嘟的张着，他爸喝一口他跟着咽一下…发现这么多人看他，抿了抿嘴，继续眼巴巴…<br/>
<div class='watermark'>(糗事百科出品，转载请注明)</div><br/>
2.&nbsp;&nbsp;还是父子，老大爷和中年儿子，带的二锅头，同样不想托运。儿子直接拧开了，老大爷也跟着举着瓶子开喝，两人可能赶时间，眼看一口气都喝完了，我真不知道那玩意儿度数大不大~只看到老大爷拿包要走的时候抓空了…然后儿子扶着大爷找着门晃悠出去了…后面一旅客忍着笑嘟囔了句：舍命不舍财~老大爷晃悠着又不想让人看出来那个正经的神态，灰常可爱！<br/>
<br/>
3.&nbsp;&nbsp;母女，包里两板某某多（益生菌饮料），十个。那四十来岁的妈妈桑一把拽回来跟开包的同事吆喝“我们都喝掉的！不托运也不扔掉的！”同事还要顾及其他旅客就忙别的了，两人就一边喝，一边瞟我同事，手里的就往包里藏掖，我和同事互相看了一眼木说话。“都喝完了？”妈妈桑坚定的说“都喝完了！”“那我帮你把那十个瓶子扔掉吧！”“…”两个人又从包里翻出来继续猛咗！大婶藏的自己都找不大着了，也不好意思说喝不上，那姑娘边喝边拿幽怨的眼神看她妈。我就想起那个人在囧途的喝牛奶的场面来了~何必呢，这样的上了飞机等着抢厕所吧！其实呢，我们不坏，都尽量给方便，这种藏匿行为是可以移交公安处理取消航班的，我同事也只是侧面提醒她们有些事情不能耍小聪明，不知道她们懂了没有。<br/>
<br/>
4.&nbsp;&nbsp;再说个一家三口的，年轻的爸妈，一岁的宝宝。包里查出来饮料爽某某一板，大水壶一个。小爸爸跟我说“孩子不吃母乳，只喝这个！通融下吧！”“只喝这个？”“恩！现在的孩子啊~BalaBala...”我擦了擦汗，说通知了航空公司后将在飞机上提供婴儿乳制品，凑合一两个小时吧。孩子爸说那好，喝掉吧。我做了个手势请随意~（通常旅客是饮料喝掉或放弃，水壶水杯直接把水倒掉的）。接下来这场景就霸气了，其他旅客都是抿着嘴憋着笑过去的~额…那根本不是大水壶，是一大暖水瓶的乳酸饮料！小两口在不宽敞的安检通道里找了个角落，坐地下盘起腿，拿了装金属物品过X光机的小盒子，在里面剥茶叶蛋壳扔卫生纸！时不时的抱起暖水壶来对着嘴灌几口！吃着聊着的好不开心…孩子就在旁边张牙舞爪的要抓茶叶蛋吃!小两口顺手就扒拉开了继续聊那个谁家的小谁。从始至终没给宝宝喝一口饮料啊！宝宝一直很尽力的在旁边转悠拱钻爬嚓舞花着…我们工作人员努力的保持严肃装木看见！木看见！<br/>
<br/>
5.&nbsp;&nbsp;想了想这次放什么图片，就放刚拍的周杰伦吧，有点囧。前几天JAY来青岛开演唱会，我去看了，场面超火爆，很多粉丝都从外地赶来看他！第二天他去北京，比我想象中还要低调，看来保密措施做得很好，一个粉丝也木有。不过看看这照片，JAY，你是不想让人认出来你？还是想让人都来看你？那天很热很热的说~嘿嘿，本着娱人娱己的糗百精神博大家一乐，看过前几天有评论攻击杰克逊和周杰伦，请不要在我的帖子攻击任何人，喜欢就顶不喜欢请漠视！等有机会单弄个帖子讲讲明星的囧事哈~</p>
  
  <a href="/system/pictures/430859/large/周杰伦.jpg?1280992373" class="picture" id="picture-430859"><img alt="周杰伦" src="/system/pictures/430859/medium/周杰伦.jpg?1280992373" /></a><br />
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E6%B0%B4%E6%BC%AB%E6%BC%AB" rel="tag">水漫漫</a> <a href="/groups/2/tag/%E6%9C%BA%E5%9C%BA%E5%AE%89%E6%A3%80" rel="tag">机场安检</a></p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article430553" title="2010.08.05 12:29">

  <p>我只是来画图的。。<br/>
顺便表达对初恋的回忆。。<br/>
<br/>
有一次，我们去钓鱼，她说她不会。<br/>
我特爱表现，前一天去查了很多资料，像背英语一样背着。<span class='watermark'>(from www.qiushibaike.com)</span><br/>
第二天……</p>
  
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  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E8%8B%8D%E5%8D%97%E6%B4%BE/page/3" rel="tag">苍南派</a></p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429914" title="2010.08.05 00:20">

  <p>哈！注册侧成功兴奋ing……<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;话说，大一的时候过生日正好赶上五一假期，那天大家喝的都很high，记忆中是被人搀扶着回到寝室的。<strong class='watermark'>[糗百]</strong><br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;第二天早上，嘴里总是感觉怪怪的。午餐的时候和哥们聊起前一天晚上的情况。那厮饱含同情的凝视了我两秒钟，“昨天晚上经过绿地的时候，我们实在是扛不动你了，于是坐在草地上休息。（注意GC来了）哎~~你竟然直接趴在地上拔草吃，一边吃还一边紧着劝我们，来点……解酒……”<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;听到这里，当时我就绿了……<br/>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;感谢齐天天圣的红赤兔！！！</p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E5%A5%BD%E5%90%A7/page/6" rel="tag">好吧</a>，我是真正的金牛座……</p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429870" title="2010.08.04 23:53">

  <p>发的都不过，伤心ing，说个结婚前的事，有一次和老婆回老家，老婆和丈母娘睡，我和岳父大人喝酒喝到12点，岳父大人脱衣上床，我被岳父灌醉了，上洗手间吐了很久，也脱衣上床了，(前面不搞笑的不糗，待我上床后，杯具开始了)我一上床，对着岳父的MM一阵狂揉，边揉边说：老婆，是不是我摸太多了，你MM都硬了，然后我就睡着了(这是岳父告诉他老婆然后告诉我老婆再告诉她老公我的。一口气读完哦)…第二天我一起床就看到二老吵起来了，大有打起来的阵势，我冲过去问：何？岳母答之，多住几天，岳父吼道：你让他们在这住，我去外面住…现在我每次去老婆家岳父都会问我留宿不，一般我都回答：不…<div class='watermark'>(from www.qiushibaike.com)</div></p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1">岳父大人的MM <a href="/groups/2/tag/%E4%B8%8D%E5%A5%BD%E7%AC%91" rel="tag">不好笑</a>，<a href="/groups/2/tag/%E4%BD%86%E5%BE%88%E6%9D%AF%E5%85%B7" rel="tag">但很杯具</a>…</p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article430997" title="2010.08.05 16:27">

  <p>理发店刚忙完，谢谢大家喜欢我昨天的几个，现在继续。<br/>
<br/>
1：有一次给一个小男孩剪头发，很调皮的一个小孩，一直扭来扭去左看右看，半分钟也不肯老老实实的坐着，过了一会还大声的喊妈妈。正好他妈妈出去了，而我对这类小孩子通常没有好感，狠狠敲了一下他脑袋警告他老实点。结果他安静了一会又开始伸着脖子找妈妈，我真火了，&nbsp;一手按着他肩膀不让他动，一手慢慢的拿着推子给他理发。过了一会，男孩小小声的说：“哥哥我尿尿了……”与此同时莫名的水滴到我的鞋和裤子上。<br/>
自那以后我也开始和女同事抢着给小女孩理发了。<br/>
<br/>
2：店里是专门给小孩子理发的儿童理发器，有一个妈妈对这很感兴趣，几次以后要求买一个，我们解释许多自己在家给小孩子理发不安全，这个妈妈坚持是买回去给刚出生不久的小狗剃毛，于是没办法卖给她一个。没几天，这个妈妈带她戴着帽子的儿子又过来了，一进门就说：“给他剃个光头。”我承认我不厚道，摘下帽子的那一瞬间，现实版的画苹果像屁股还是让我扑哧笑了。那位妈妈倒是很淡定，孩子不高兴了：“哥哥别笑话我，你是没看见我家小狗……”<br/>
<div class='watermark'>(来自qiushibaike.com)</div><br/>
3：曾经有一对小男孩小女孩手牵手来剪头发，没有大人。对于这种情况我们一般是不敢随便给剪的，可是两个小家伙都掏出手机，拨了号码，分别让他们爸妈给我们通话。结果开始剪没多久，小女孩抬头问我：“哥哥，理发多少钱？”我告诉她价格以后，她有点担心有点犹豫的问小男孩：“你带了多少钱出来？”小男孩：“好多呢，我有好几张钱！”小女孩还是不放心的样子，拉住我手：“哥哥你给我剪便宜点行吗？我俩还要省钱私奔呢。”<br/>
私奔！我和同事懵了一下，小男孩已经从椅子上一跃而下：“不是说好不告诉别人的吗！”小女孩绞着手指，没有说话，男孩一把把女孩拉下来：“不理发了，快跑吧，一会就有人带大队人马追上来了！”我和同事两手还举着剪刀梳子目瞪口呆的看着小男孩拉着小女孩带着围布一遛烟跑了，小女孩的声音远远传来：“那人家拜堂时这个发型不美了啦。”<br/>
晚上，两个小孩子又被大人押回来继续剪头发，我边工作边逗小男孩：“私奔到哪呀？”<br/>
小男孩白了我一眼：“总有一天我会骑马带她远走高飞的！”<br/>
<br/>
先这些，又有客人来了，大家喜欢我再继续发，呵呵。</p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E5%84%BF%E7%AB%A5%E7%90%86%E5%8F%91" rel="tag">儿童理发</a></p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article430744" title="2010.08.05 14:15">

  <p>下午，我在电脑前噼噼啪啪敲着，老妈估计是游戏累了，拿一苹果坐我旁边，一边和我balabalbala一边削苹果。削完后切一小块，塞我嘴里：“甜不？”<br/>
我头也没抬：“嗯嗯甜。”<br/>
老妈继续balabala，又塞我嘴里一块：“甜不？”<br/>
“嗯嗯甜~”<br/>
继续塞，继续吃，吃着吃着不对，注意看了一下，老妈自己啃着苹果，往我嘴里塞着苹果皮……<br/>
好吧好吧，皮也挺甜，继续噼噼啪啪着电脑听老妈巴拉。<br/>
老妈估计bala的没意思了，出去转了一圈，过会回来继续边唠叨边往我嘴里塞东西，吃着吃着觉得嘴里毛毛的，定睛一看，哦，这次吃的水蜜桃…………………………<br/>
无语，老妈继续塞，只好继续吃。<span class='watermark'>[糗百]</span><br/>
又一会，老妈自言自语：“上次买的香蕉好像还有……”<br/>
我……&amp;%…………&amp;%！！！！⊙﹏⊙b<br/>
果断站起来关电脑：“妈走咱俩逛街去吧……”</p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1">我不想吃香蕉皮……</p>
  

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<div class="qiushi_body article " id="article429715" title="2010.08.04 22:51">

  <p>发个关于我男朋友的-&nbsp;-，以下称为CC……<br/>
========高温的分割线================<br/>
话说CC酱刚发育的时候……13岁的豆蔻年华啊……<br/>
男孩子有了点难堪的小毛病……包皮过长，洗澡完JJ总是没擦干……结果……JJ头发炎了=。=<br/>
于是乎，CC妈去买了一瓶&nbsp;洁&nbsp;尔&nbsp;阴&nbsp;然后用高脚酒杯装着，让CC酱自己脱了裤子站那，<br/>
边看电视，边把JJ泡进去放着……<br/>
精彩的在后面……CC泡完JJ，杯子稍微冲洗下放在厨房……不知情的CC爸晚上兴起<br/>
他要喝红酒……于是顺手拿了台面上的酒杯倒上红酒享用起来……<br/>
CC妈回来，面色古怪的询问CC爸杯子哪拿的……然后严肃的告诉他，那是儿子泡JJ的杯子<br/>
CC爸当场喷酒而出……<b class='watermark'>(糗事百科出品，转载请注明)</b></p>
  
  
  <p class="tags" style="zoom:1"><a href="/groups/2/tag/%E6%B4%81%E5%B0%94%E9%98%B4/page/4" rel="tag">洁尔阴</a> <a href="/groups/2/tag/%E6%B3%A1JJ/page/4" rel="tag">泡JJ</a> <a href="/groups/2/tag/%E6%82%B2%E5%89%A7%E7%9A%84%E7%88%B8%E7%88%B8/page/4" rel="tag">悲剧的爸爸</a></p>
  

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